Friday, October 19, 2012

Keep Calm

Keep calm, keep calm....and don't go completely insane!
Anger is just coursing through my entire body, and I wish more than anything I could make him feel my pain, my heartache, I wish I could feel nothing for him as he feels nothing for me now.
and why does my life have to be so unfortunate?!
My family is poor which has inevitably made me poor. My parents are so poor in fact that they are going to be moving back to Oakie-ville with my grandma and there is no way I'm going back to Oakie-ville, so guess what my only other option is because I am poor also?
The city where HE resides during the school year. No I don't have any friends besides his in this city (let's call it SJ) which sucks but my friends that I do have are closer from SJ than they are from Oakie-ville. Yes I am trying to make friends which are unfortunately semi-close friends with him, but it is hard for me to make friends and I like the people who happen to be his friends. A lot too, which really, really sucks. I really wish that we could all hang out together and I could be completely fine and normal around him, but he hurt me terribly, and I'm not the kind to forget that pain, or the person who caused it.  And if these people choose to be friends with me also, which I do hope they will, I will definitely, no question about it, run into him. I hope when that day comes that 1) I will be Smokin' hot with guys drooling for me, and 2)I will be strong, confident, and not feel the pain of my heart breaking all over again.
Which means I need to prepare and truly stick to a non-fat, low calorie diet, and have an extremely grueling workout routine.
But unfortunately and fortunately I am spending a weekend with my family in a lake cabin, for free, and it's hard to hide my eating habits, to resist the great food, and to be able to have time to exercise.
Someone help me please!!! Advice, tips, support, anything. I really need it right now.
If I don't look awesome when I finally run into him, I will be devastated :(

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